Suicide Is Illegal ?

How absurd is that? Why would the powers that be make it illegal to kill yourself? What are the repercussions for suicide? What are they going to do to you? I know insurance companies use it as a loophole so they don’t have to pay out on your death, but what about the people that don’t have life insurance? What does anyone have to gain or lose from your death except yourself?

The only reason I can think of for it being illegal to commit suicide is because we are all here to be tortured. Does that make sense? Sure your loved ones would be sad if you killed yourself. But why does uncle Sam give a shit? One less mouth to feed right? They exercise population control by killing people every day. So its only legal is uncle scam kills you? It doesn’t make sense to me.

I have no plans of killing myself, but I have tried it, and failed miserably. If you do ever want to commit suicide the last thing you want to do is tell anyone about it. They can lock your ass up in an institution for that and feed you drugs that will make a total zombie out of you until you “conform”. If you don’t give in and conform they can keep you locked up forever. What good does that do anyone? Seems like torture to me. The only thing that makes any logical sense of this, is that this world really is a prison planet.

This is not something I’ve just thought up out of the blue. I’ve been thinking about this for years. Well, at least since I found out that its illegal. Life isn’t all bad. There’s a lot of good in the world, and there’s a lot of good times to be had, but its dwindling every day. Especially since 9/11. The powers that be used that as a means to really clamp down hard on society. They spy on everything you do. They’re spying on me right now. From Alaska of all places! I’m going to have to investigate just what’s in Alaska and what it has to do with spying on you. There must be some big military intelligence base there. Every blog I start has visitors from Alaska. Only one person I know has been told about this blog and he lives a long way from there. So, hello Mr Spook from Alaska, I see you. Am I really that interesting? What have I ever done in my life that warrants someone to spy on me? I’d love to know. I find myself to be quite boring for the most part. I’m not a criminal as far as I know. Then again, we have so many laws anymore that its hard to keep up with. If having a blog that nobody reads makes me a criminal, so be it. Why even let people have a voice? Are they hoping that I entrap myself?

I’m just a disabled nobody. I try to mind my own business and be as good a person as I know how to be. I know I fall short sometimes, but I’m still learning. I just want to know why its illegal to kill yourself. It makes perfect sense to me for it to be illegal to kill someone else, but killing yourself? That just doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe my spy from Alaska can chime in with a comment and tell me why. I’d really like to know.

Until next time …… peace!


YouTube, like Facebook, supports The Police State

“Any corporation that doesn’t support it – gets shafted. They lean the playing field towards their friends, leaving everyone else going uphill. If Google (Youtube owner) starts to make waves, they’ll lose their benefits pretty soon. So they comply and make the same kind of soft tyranny on their own site.  There was probably never a direct command to do this. Some govt insider expressed his disappointment with some Google official on the brewing home-made terrorism that is also spread by videos on their service. Than higher-ups at Youtube got an extra point on the regular meeting agenda – potential liability of Youtube in home-made terrorism. Obviously this kind of operation has less impact than secret police serving out beatings and disappearing people… but there’s also no damning evidence left behind. Even if some Google higher-up would someday confessed to complying with pressures to stomp on “right wing extremists” on the site, this won’t even make news. No body, no written order, victims already disliked by mainstream media, really nothing to get going on.”

The paragraph above was spirited (and edited) from a comment on youtube. I done that because I could not have said it better myself. You wouldn’t believe what a tight network this police state is. They have got almost every base covered. And when an unintended base pops up, they are on it like stink on shit. I have a lot of things going on in my own personal life right now. Its overwhelming at times, and there’s times I want to say “fuck it” and just give up. For some reason I just can’t bring myself to do that. Something inside me tells me to keep up the fight. Something inside me tells me it will all be worth it in the end. What is that “something” inside me?

The video I lifted the comment from was a video from probably my favorite youtube channel, StormCloudsGathering. I came across that channel several years ago and it clicked with me. That something inside me told me he was righteous. I’ve even re-uploaded a lot of his videos onto my own youtube channel. He’s always encouraged that, and his videos struck me as important enough to do just that. Anyone who’s ever gone through that process knows what a pain in the ass it is to download and then upload a video to youtube. It takes a long time to do, and I wouldn’t do that for just anybody. Believe me, there’s a ton of disinformation videos on youtube. Even the ones that contain some truth need to be filtered for content, because they will always add something to them that’s pretty easy to discredit. When a person hears or sees the discrediting information they throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak, and the police state continues to grow.

I’m not much of a writer, but I’m one hell of a good reader. I’ve been called a bookworm more times than I care to remember. I’ll take that nickname though, and I’ll wear it as a badge of honor as well. I wish more people would read. Maybe we wouldn’t be in the trouble we are in if everyone read books instead of turning on that programming machine we call the television. You could say the same thing about the internet and youtube videos and you would be correct to some extent. But there are a lot of people who do still read and they do make videos and write on their blogs in hopes of making the world a better place. This isn’t my first blog. If you’ve been following along from my first “Hello World” post you already know that I have had a lot of blogs over the years. A couple of them have been shut down. Some of them have caused me a lot of personal grief over the years as well. A lot of people would have given up by now. But its that something inside me that keeps me coming back.

Its people like Aaron from StormCloudsGathering that keep me inspired. I have a very dear friend that has three blogs that also keeps me inspired and coming back. I’ve learned a lot over the years, and I’m still learning every day. There are some good people still left in this crazy upside down world. The police state, or New World Order, or whatever you want to call it is real. There are very evil people in this world and they are hell bent on controlling the rest of us. They already have us enslaved in a fake monetary system that we can’t live without. But that’s not enough for them for whatever reason. I don’t know exactly what all their end goals are, but I do know some of them. And I don’t like them one bit.

Stay tuned …..

Rehab Five Years Late

I think I’ve finally figured it out. Its something that’s been nagging me for my entire life and has even gotten me into lots of trouble over. I’ve taken a lot of tests in my 51 years so far here on earth. And there’s been a lot of times during one of these test’s that I chose the wrong answer on a multiple choice test. At times my written answers would be wrong according to the teacher or tester. Sometimes the answers are wrong because the “answer” isn’t correct either. I’ve seen it a few times during my school years that there were mistakes in the text books and it took a student to catch it because the teachers didn’t bother to check their text books for accuracy. They assume whoever wrote the book got it right to begin with. “Whatever the book says it is” …… How many times have you heard that expression?

Well what if the book is WRONG?

I’ve recently been enrolled in a Substance Abuse program that pretty well goes to anyone who gets a DUI these days. If you’ve had one, you already know what I’m talking about. Back when I was younger, if you got a DUI or DWI, you had to pay a big fine and take a defensive driving course. And then of course pay higher auto insurance rates for five years. Plus, you have to pay the state an extortion fee to get you’re drivers license released or re-instated.

Now, here in 2015 if you get a DUI, especially a second one, they make you enroll in a substance abuse program. I believe the program is 300 dollars  and that’s in addition to appx $3,500.00 in fines. I’ve heard the state’s current extortion racket is another 150 dollars for your released license after you complete the program. I’ve been in the program since mid August and I’m just now getting close to the end of it I hope. The program is not all that bad but its really put a heavy financial strain on me lately. Money is tight enough as it is and this program has been taking grocery money away from us. I have been going three days a week for three hours at a time and then one one hour  group session one day a week. During the last hour of class on Tuesdays we go to a one hour NA meeting as part of our classes. I’m not sure how many of those we have to attend, but I’ve been to probably 5 of them already and an alcoholic anonymous meeting too. There’s something that has nagged me from the start of this program though.

They want you to “admit” that you are “powerless” over your addiction and that “only God or a higher power” can help you overcome it. I keep saying to myself every time I read that, “Bullshit”. I just can’t buy that for some reason. Maybe its because my addiction to alcohol was more or less scared out of me? I went through a hell of a lot of trauma that probably would have killed a lot of people. It did almost kill me. The airlife crew didn’t think I was going to make the 40 minute flight to the hospital. I was way too bad for our little town’s hospital to handle. Somehow I made it though and ended up in a coma for over three weeks and got my spine wired and screwed back together.

This whole thing has caused an big inner philosophical debate since I started the program, because I have been sober for almost five years now. And I didn’t “admit” to anybody that I was “powerless” over my alcoholism. I can almost say I’ve been sober for six years, but I’ve gotten drunk once a little over a year after my big life changing motorcycle accident. I flipped my pickup truck that time  and got my second DUI in less than 2 years. After I got out of the hospital from that, I didn’t have much of a problem saying no to alcohol. I don’t have any problem with it at all to this day. I’ve wondered many times over the last five or six years why I drank so much for all those years. I’ve wondered how I became an alcoholic. The only answer to that is that is that alcoholism IS an addiction, and addictions are real. And they can come back on you fast and bite you quick.

When I first started going to the meetings and saw some of the stuff we were going to learn I was interested in it. It gave me a better understanding of addiction. It answered a few of my questions I had about why and how I became an alcoholic. One thing about the meetings I don’t care for is everyone has to introduce themselves to the class by first name and “and I’m an addict” or “I’m an alcoholic”. I just can’t bring myself to believe in the notion that “once an alcoholic always an alcoholic” or “once an addict always an addict”. I believe people can get clean and never touch it again if they don’t want to. That’s a choice though. Now granted, a person would probably easily fall right back into alcoholism if they started drinking again. I also believe a person could have a beer 5 years down the road and not drink another one after it. Its all in what you allow yourself do or don’t allow yourself do. I tell myself all the time that I don’t want to drink anymore. Every day of my life for the rest of what life I have left, is guaranteed to be riddled with chronic pain. And I remember WHY that pain is there. If it wasn’t for me being drunk and thinking I could get away with that on a motorcycle I wouldn’t be crippled up for life right now. But that’s what I wake up to every day ….. pain.

Its get almost unbearable before during and after some rain. It also hurts worse in general during the winter months. If most people hurt as bad as I do when it rains they’d probably be at the emergency room begging for morphine. I’ve only done that one time since my back surgery, and I had ran out of pain pills and didn’t have a prescription nor a doctor to prescribe them to me. I had just been kicked out of the hospital that done my back surgery. I didn’t have health insurance at the time either so they gave me the bums rush out of that place. I had a broken jaw at the time and my face was pretty obviously disfigured. But that hospital denied to the day they kicked me out that it wasn’t broken. By the time they had kicked me out it had already been trying to grow back and mend itself crooked. I ended up having to get my jaw re-broken and plated back together at a different hospital. They were sure pissed off at the hospital that kicked me out like that. I could have easily sued them but I didn’t. I was just grateful they didn’t let me die. And they probably kinda wanted me too if the truth were known. It only took a few years of fighting for disability until I wanted to kill myself. By the time I had hit year number five in the fight I was ready to give it up. I took a shit load of pain pills one day along with a bunch of Soma thinking I’d just pass out and not wake up. At least I’d be out of pain. And I’m pretty well useless as a productive worker anymore.

My sister in law and sister took me to the ER when I overdosed. After that they almost locked me up for a while but instead let me stay free and promise to see a therapist about this suicide wish I had. I’ve been doing that for about three years now. I have gotten better than I was back then. And I finally won my disability case five years after first filing for it. It was just a few months and they put me on regular social security and Medicare. I guess because of my age they decided to put me out to pasture so to speak. You’re usually supposed to have Medicaid for two years before they put you on Medicare, but they switched me in just a few months. Right after I turned 50 years old. Now with Medicare I have to pay for my insurance. They take it out of your check automatically. Now I know why senior citizens have always been disgruntled with trying to live off of social security. There’s barely enough to scratch by on for most people, including yours truly.

I didn’t care if I ever drove another vehicle again in my life after those wrecks. It took me forever just to ride in one without having panic attacks every time we met another vehicle on the road. It took me a long time to get half way comfortable with driving at all too. I’m still paranoid about it, but its getting easier little by little. I can’t turn my head very far from side to side and it makes it hard to back up like that. I have to depend on mirrors more than I like to. If I didn’t have to go to the doctor at 6am every month I wouldn’t even bother trying to get my drivers license back. Unfortunately, if I get caught driving on a suspended license its an automatic ten days jail sentence. So I really need to get it back for legal purposes when I do need to drive. Otherwise I’m good just catching a ride from someone else.

I hope I make it through this program despite my feelings about it. I don’t feel like I need rehab because I’ve done just fine for five years so far without it. But, it has been interesting and informative. I’m learning about addictions and its sparked some things in my mind. I think its highly possible that people with obesity and overweight issues could be addicted to sugar and other fattening foods. Not to mention processed foods in general. Those are bad for anyone unless you’re the doctor and pharmacist making money off your addiction and misery.

An Excerpt From A Book On Freemasonry

I finally found some time here and there to do something I’ve been wanting to do for quite a while now. Someone gifted me with a book on Freemasonry about three or so years ago. The name of the book is: Introduction To freemasonry by Carl H. Claudy. The copy I have was printed in 1945 and more than likely sold in book stores. So much for secrets if you can buy it in a book store, right? From what I have read though, there are things that are secret and not shared in the book, as you will see. I’m not sure what it all means in the big picture, but it does share a little insight into this secretive society. I opened the book to a random page one day and just started typing what I read. I ended up typing out three pages of this book just for the heck of it, with the intention that I would share it on my blog one of these days. That day has finally arrived, and below you will be able to read it for yourself and perhaps gain a little insight into this infamous secret club.

Pg. 109 (pay attention to the words that are in italics. I am transcribing this Exactly as it is presented in the book)

“So said Plato twenty-three centuries ago. It is merely an accident of the English language that geometry and God begin with the same letter; no matter what the language or the ritual, the initial of the Ineffable Name and that of the first and noblest of sciences are Masonically the same.

“But that is secret!” cries some newly initiated brother who has examined his printed monitor and finds that the ritual concerning the further significance of the letter “G” is represented only by stars. Aye, the ritual is secret, but the fact is the most gloriously public that Freemasonry may herald to the world. One can no more keep secret the idea that God is the very warp and woof of Freemasonry than that He is the essence of all life. Take God out of Freemasonry and there is, literally, nothing left; it is a pricked balloon, an empty vessel, a bubble which has burst.

The petitioner knows it before he signs his application. He must answer “Do you believe in God?” before his petition can be accepted. He must (pg.110) declare his faith in a Supreme Being before he may be initiated. But note that he is not required to say, then or ever, what God. He may name Him as he pleases; make Him impersonal law or personal anthropomorphic; Freemasonry cares not.

Freemasonry’s own especial name for Deity is Great Architect of the Universe. She speaks of God rarely as if she felt the sacredness of the simple Jewish symbol- the Yod- which stood for JHVH, that unpronouncable name we think may have been Jehovah. But God, Great Architect of the Universe, Grand Artificer, Grand Master of the Grand Lodge Above, Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva. Or Great Geometer, a symbol of the conception shines in the East of every American Masonic lodge, as in the center of the canopy of every English lodge.

Secret? Aye, secret as those matters of the heart which may not be told are secret. Let him who loves his wife or his child more than he loves aught else upon the earth try to explain in words just how he loves, and he will understand just what sort of secret this is. All the world may know that he loves; how he loves, how much he loves, there are no words to tell.

All the world may know that the symbol of Deity shines in the East of a Masonic lodge; only the true Freemason, who is actually a Mason in his heart, as well as in his mind, may know just how and in what way the Great Architect is the very essence and substance of the Ancient Craft.

The symbol of Deity has always been a part of all houses of initiation. In the Egyptian mysteries it (pg.111) was the Sun God’s symbol, Ra. The Greeks considered the number five to be the symbol of man’s dependance upon the Unseen; from five also came the Pentalpha or five-pointed star. The imaginative will easily see here a connection with the Fellow-craft’s Degree in which five is especially the symbolic number. Plutarch tells us that in the Greek mysteries the symbol of God was made of wood in the first, of bronze in the second, and of gold in the third degree, or step, to symbolize the refinement of man’s conception of Deity as he progressed from the darkness of ignorance to the light of faith in some one of many forms of belief in God.

Freemasonry uses a much more tender and beautiful symbolism. In modern and costly temples the letter “G” may be of crystal, lighted behind with electric light. In some country lodge it may be cut from cardboard and painted blue, illuminated if at all with a tallow dip. A Western lodge meets yearly on the top of a hill in a forest, and nails to a tree cut branches in the form of a rough letter “G.” Freemasonry’s symbolism is not of the material substance of the letter, but its connection with geometry, the science by which the universe exists and moves and by which the proportions which connect this vast machine are measured.

Aye, God is always geometrizing. Geometry is particularly His science.”

That concludes what I have copied so far of this book. Make of it what you will. I am just putting it out there for everyone who happens to stumble across my blog to see.

Facebook Is A Psyop

At least that’s the conclusion I have come to. Its social engineering at its finest. I’m still seeing people getting excited and worked up over Donald Trump and the fake elections. They just can’t seem to fathom that our country was hijacked long ago by these banking institutions and multinational corporations, despite the overwhelming evidence that supports that notion. A lot of voters will even admit that they think the republicans and democrats are owned lock stock and barrel by these banks and corporations. A check on the politicians fund sourcing will easily prove this. And people are still buying into the false paradigm that there’s a difference between the so called right and so called left. Most people know this if they’re honest with themselves. But they still continue to vote for one of those sides. Its totally insanity. Its like we’re all on this huge proverbial bus, and every four to eight years they switch drivers. But guess what? We’re still headed straight over a cliff no matter who’s driving.

Our so called news has become nothing more than a propaganda arm of the government, and these “New World Order” people who want to eventually establish total control over us all and microchip us are right on schedule. The biggest problem is that people are waiting for some big event and then martial law. The longer things go, the less I can see that happening. These people are very patient. And this scheme has been being plotted and being implemented little by little so we don’t notice it. Kind of like the old frog in the boiling pot story.

We’re never going to change it. I just don’t see how it could ever happen with the way our media and electoral system works. A good candidate doesn’t have a chance anymore. All it takes is lots of money and television air time. Very very few people even bother to fact check these politicians. If they actually did, they would see just how many lies and falsehoods these politicians claim as true.  We are really screwed and that’s just all there is to it. Unless by some great miracle, people stop watching television and stop voting for these people who are doing constant harm to this country. By voting for democrats and republicans, you are only showing your approval of a corrupt system of government. I can no longer bring myself to even go to the polls anymore because the dealer is playing with a stacked deck of cards.